Friday, May 14, 2010

May 14th

I am generally satisfied with my life.

It's strange for me to say this, because I never can predict the moment it turns. It seems to have been some time (although it always seems long enough since the last time that I forget what it's like), and I don't want to jinx it.

So it feels so trivial and stupid to even care about this. But lately, I've been in the situation where I'm the third, or fifth, or seventh wheel. Or conversations at picnics turn to discussions of boyfriends, and I'm surpised that I'm the only one in the group of a half dozen girls sitting in a circle without a boyfriend, who has never had one. I pretend to be engrossed in my phone, as I feel the sun burning my back.

It's not even something I care about when I'm by myself. I like my space as much as I dislike most people. I'm about as affectionate as petrified wood. It's only when I'm surrounded by people in happy relationships that it becomes a has/has-not. And I hate being a has-not, even if it's something I don't need. I have tried on jeggings, I buy big sunglasses even though they make me look like a bug. I just want to fit in.

Jesus I feel like I'm in middle school again. Good thing I'm graduating college this weekend.

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

要持續更新下去喲!!祝你心情愉快.............................................

JesseniaT_Or怡臻ndorf said...

生活盡可低,志氣當高潔........................................

Anonymous said...

喜歡這裡-支持你的更新 ........................................

Anonymous said...

blog的用心,看得出來~~請加油 ........................................

Anonymous said...

文章是唯一不死的東西,時間飛逝,文字記述的心情就是一種傳承! ....................................................

DedeJ文辰_Fe said...

加油!充實內函最重要!Beauty is but skin- deep...................................................

pinky said...

友誼能增進快樂,減少痛苦 ............................................................

Anonymous said...

恨一個人,比原諒一個人,更傷力氣。..................................................................

向霖 said...

這樣的情感,真是值得人羨慕.................................................................

Anonymous said...

死亡是悲哀的,但活得不快樂更悲哀。......................................................................

Anonymous said...

成熟,就是有能力適應生活中的模糊。.................................................................

Anonymous said...

人生是故事的創造與遺忘。............................................................

Anonymous said...

人不可以求其備,必捨其所短,取其所長............................................................

Anonymous said...

教育的目的,不在應該思考什麼,而是教吾人怎樣思考............................................................

Anonymous said...

有夢最美啦~~加油!元氣滿點!............................................................

Anonymous said...

人生中最好的禮物就是屬於自己的一部份..................................................

Anonymous said...

這麼好的blog不回應怎麼行咧!............................................................

Anonymous said...

逛BLOG逛上癮了,一天不來會不習慣了耶!!............................................................

Anonymous said...

絕不要羞於承認自己不知道的事。..................................................

Anonymous said...

厚 !!!等了好久的更新~~一定要支持的啦(ΘωΘ)............................................................

Anonymous said...

拒絕冒險和成長的人,終將被生命的潮流陶汰。..................................................

Anonymous said...

不能記住往事的,人注定要重蹈覆轍。.......................................................

Anonymous said...

Man proposes, God disposes..................................................................

家唐銘 said...

愛,拆開來是心和受兩個字。用心去接受對方的一切,用心去愛對方的所有。......................................................................

Anonymous said...

人因夢想而偉大,要堅持自己的理想哦!............................................................

Anonymous said...

很精彩的部落格 期待你的繼續加油............................................................

王辛江淑萍康 said...

獨居時,要反省自己的過錯;在社會大眾之間,則要忘卻別人的過失。..................................................

Anonymous said...

It is no use crying over spilt milk.......................................................................

Anonymous said...

人生匆匆-把握當下,支持鼓勵~事事如意~..................................................

Anonymous said...

認識自己,是發現妳的真性格、掌握妳的命運、創照你前程的根源。............................. ....................................