Dear Men, every Man that ever was or is, but especially if you have ever pissed in my bathroom:
If you can't aim your stream enough to avoid drippage (and please, it seems like a fair allowance: a decent-sized bowl, a thin ribbon of pee, a short distance between the two and a wide donut of wiggle-room), sit down. Please. We won't think of you as less of a man. I promise.
Oh, and someday can we talk about how I don't know how to flirt? That would be appreciated.