This is probably one time in my life that I wish I had been drunker. Well, there are a few times that I wish alcohol could have played a factor in erasing embarassing memories the next day. But I wish I could say I was drunker last night, and that's why I don't remember writing the post below. But I wasn't. But I was so upset, and I couldn't figure out why.
I kept on having the worst flashbacks today. Sitting upright at the edge of my chair unable to avoid hands. The tearing apart of my life as I knew it, from so many different angles. And even things that didn't bother me at the time. A kilt, a tattoo, being told how pretty I was in ways that flattered me years ago, that I don't even care about anymore.
I feel like anything I do that isn't cutting off all ties with everyone I knew before 2003 will be a poor choice.