Music

Found myself frustrated to the point of near tears during rehearsal. As happy as I am that I have the opportunity to do a lot of singing I wouldn't necessarily be doing at home, I'm upset that that has come with not being able to have fun with my primary (and best) instrument.

So I'm not the best pianist here. But I'm certainly a competant pianist. I'm a great accompanist. I can do my shit. None of the pieces other pianists are doing are so hard that I would fall to pieces and not be able to do them. The Ghost Trio. Schumann Piano Quintet. Brahm's Hungarian Dances, Schubert F minor Fantasy. Challenging, yes, but accessible. Not fucking boring. Something I would be interested in and would like to practice, as opposed to my music now.

I'm bored. It doesn't motivate me to become a better pianist. I'm accompanying one piece, a Mendelsohnn duet anyone could sightread. And while my quintet is... interesting, I find myself frustrated with that group for different reasons, boredom not being one of them. But that's probably going to be the last concert. Meaning I have all this time without any chamber music to work on.

It makes me sad. I didn't come here to sing. I came here to play piano, and to play chamber music, and to accompany, which are what I'm passionate about.

And that's fucking lame.



I would not recommend this program for pianists. I wouldn't. It's fucking amazing being here. And if you were an instrumentalist (I mean one whose instrument you can carry)/singer who wanted to be with great faculty, learn German, and just be in a wicked city, yea, it's great. But the lack of pianos? The ridiculous hours (open only from 8-8, when you've been practicing at night for the last three years). There are days, like today, when I am in class/running around from 9:30-8 with an hour and a half break to MAYBE squeeze in practicingg if I can get a room. And having to fight for the only two decent pianos in the building, and usually being stuck with a piano that's barely good to work out fingerings on.

Then again, getting away from last semester needed to happen. Maybe more so than I needed piano love.