I'm starting to feel better about things.
Even though I'm worried about being with actual singers.
Even though my roommate uses my laptop and sneezes into her hand and continues typing.
Even though I am developing a facial tic, and am running out of hand sanitizer.
Even though sometimes I still think that maybe I'm not ok, but I'm doing a much better job at pushing those thoughts away than I had been. I just stood in the shower and turned the water as hot as I could and let them steam out of my pores.
Even though I'm horrible with change, I'm learning to adapt, while listening to the three Alanis songs I like and Miles Davis, while eating Clementines and soft-boiled eggs and green tea, while repeating base forms of possesives, while knitting the perpetual sock and writing postcards to people I haven't seen in months.
Even though I just found a lipstick that the previous student tenants left behind and I know the color would look great on me but that's so gross, that's old lipstick with another person's mouth on it. I rub hand sanitzer between my palms and stare at the makeup enviously.
I think a schedule will help this. Also, a practice routine. Practicing for the first real time today. Can hardly wait to start my new music.